El pasado

El pasado me ha visitado hoy.

No me gusta escribir todos los días. Pienso que terminaré.

2 Golden Rules to Conversation

Agh, there's another thing on my mind and this is the Art of Conversation.

What? I hear you ask. There's an art to it? Don't you just, kinda, speak to people?

Well, I don't know. And that's my problem. If it was that easy, I wouldn't have a problem. I've found that when it comes to chatting online, via instant messenger or what have you, it's very easy - most probably because I'm in the field of communication in which I'm most comfortable*: writing. Unfortunately, to live a happy life, I don't think I can go by solely writing to people. That distance would depress me, surely. Anyway, my problem is that, when it comes to "real life", I can't for the life of me think of what to say to people, which promptly invites those Awkward Silences that wait patiently in the shadows to come and ruin the atmosphere.

I mean, this is just another impromptu blog post, but some stuff from Will Grayson, Will Grayson got me thinking on how to become a better communicator. There's basically this character (Will Grayson) who believes that the 2 golden rules in life are to: 1) Shut up and 2) not care. Will is proved pretty much completely wrong, but if we tweaked those rules slightly, perhaps I'd get the 2 Golden Rules to the Art of Conversation? I'm not saying that this works, as I've just made it up right now, but I don't want to be one of those people who can't hold a conversation unless it's random and meaningless.

So in an attempt to better myself at communication, I will write myself a letter, prescribing my own advice.

Dear me, do refer back to this letter whenever you are in doubt,

Rule 1: Speak your mind; tell the truth. Avoid concealing emotions simply to save yourself. This is selfish. By hiding yourself and your emotions, you are hiding your personality and that way nobody can really know you.

I mean, this is probably why it's so much easier to speak on IMs/in writing. You don't have to confront their facial expressions and worry about if they care about what you're saying because they are behind the Veil of Virtuality, as are you. You can say what you want because the Veil gives you instances of unparalleled confidence. This is bad; it's like a drug. You will keep returning to this drug for that confidence and you will avoid Real Life because - there - the confidence is harder to attain. However, try. Follow Rule 1.

As this is inspired by Will Grayson, Will Grayson I feel compelled to retrieve a quote that backs up what I'm saying.

"So I just say what I'm thinking. "I know it sucks, but in a way, it's good." He looks at me like I've just said something absolutely idiotic, which of course I have. "Love and truth being tied together, I mean. They make each other possible, you know?" "

Rule 2: Don't care all the time; don't let it control you. Now, of course caring is important, otherwise whatever you spew will be robotic crap said only to serve the purpose of making conversation. By this, I don't mean it like Will did. I mean, don't over-care about what the other person thinks about you - unless he's, like, your employer and you're in an interview or something. You're allowed to care then, but otherwise, relax. Rule 1 works in tandem with this rule. So long as you can try to not give a fuck for a bit, you can more easily speak your mind and tell the truth.

Another Will Grayson, Will Grayson quote:

" "The idea is that for ten minutes, we forget that we have feelings. And we forget about protecting ourselves or other people and we just say the truth. For ten minutes. And then we can go back to being lame." "

This one is sort of the perfect conclusion, because it incorporates both Rules. But here's the thing, in those ten minutes, Will becomes an apparently different person by removing those barricades - it becomes about raw communication. By doing this, the girl he likes is shocked into saying, "Can you be like this permanently?"

I'm not saying you shouldn't care permanently - no, that's reckless and a lot of people will just want to stop speaking to you - but just care less about yourself.

Now, I know this is a class example of it being "easier said than done", but try. Try to follow these rules and see where they get you. If they don't work, we'll change them later.

Yours truly (no, truly truly, I actually am yours as you are mine),

You.

P.S.

Lo siento. No es posible que habría podido escribir este en español - es demasiado complicado. :) Sin embargo, todavía escribí un poco hoy, en español, así que ... sí :)

*This isn't the right word. It's not that I'm not comfortable communicating in other ways; it's just that I communicate best when I write.

Voy a escribir un "blog post" cada día hasta mi examen en español :)

¡Hola!,

Pues, este es ... diferente, ¿no? Sé que no voy a poder escribir tan bien como puedo en inglés, pero debo intentarlo porque tengo un examen en el que tendré que escribir en español pronto.

Erm, es difícil, también, jaja. Tengo un examen de la educación religioso mañana. Debería fácil como todo necesito saber es la diferencia entre 'correcto' y 'mal' y un poco factos de Cristianismo y Sikhismo.

Vale, estoy tomando demasiado tiempo para escribir este así que voy a terminar.

Eso era patético, pero "Oh well!" jaja. Adiós :)

Anne Frank

You know a book's good when after you're done with it you stop and just think about it or - in my case - you're tempted to search the title up in Google to see what everybody else thought of it too. Another sign is if the book made you think while reading it. By this, I don't mean it has to be extremely challenging, all I mean is that it has to stimulate the mind and make you consider things.

The Diary of a Young Girl definitely did all these for me. It's honestly fantastic - she was a phenomenal writer and it makes you sad when you think of her fate. Sometimes it's hard to imagine such a bright and intelligent, bursting-with-hope character confined in one of those ridiculously horrible concentration camps, but I guess the diary's an icon of those times and a warning of sorts for the future. A warning not to let history repeat itself.

Anne Frank's diary is also, however, an honest-to-God documentation of a teenager's mind: the struggles with pretty much everything the world throws at them, getting used to this (actually, pretty awesome) place we all learn to call home. She seems to represent the typical teenager in a fantastically articulate fashion, yet she also seems to transcend mere adolescence in her thoughts and attitudes. To me, if I met a girl similar to how she was, now, I know I'd fall in love.

From everything: the imagery of having more than one persona, to seeing nature as a beacon of hope, her need for someone to confide in, and her passions/curiosities - she truly seems to have been ... I don't know... someone with potential? Someone who definitely would have followed their dreams and most probably have succeeded. The former, that quality, makes me happy. I hope I'll retain that same quality as I grow and chase all my dreams. I think Anne said it best,

“ I don't want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people , even those I've never met. I want to go on living even after my death!
”

There are so many other awesome things she wrote, too, but if I wrote them all out, you might as well have just bought the book.

I mean, that's not to say that there aren't some boring, list-y parts about the general goings-on of the Secret Annexe or whatever, but it's a diary, what d'you expect?

Anyway, I just really enjoyed reading it and thought I'd definitely write a post about it, what with the resuscitation of my blog and all. Now, however, onto Will Grayson, Will Grayson which I've been dying to read for ages now!

Until next time!

A Future Complex

Hello,

I'm going to open this with reference to the previous post, stating that the blog will be "on indefinite hold" - or something like that. Well, scrap that. The life of blogging has allured me once more and, hey, why shouldn't I give it another crack?

(Why? You have nothing interesting to say? Nobody cares anyway? Hey, you, shut up.)

Like always, I've had a few things on my mind recently, but my largest revelation is that I have a Future Complex. By which I mean to say, like those who have superiority complexes are obsessed with their own superiority, I am obsessed with my future. At the age of 11, I knew unchangeably what continent I would live in when I was older. This hasn't changed. Though I've always been inclined towards it, by 13/14 I knew that writing would have to be a part of my profession. By 15, I had already chosen 2 potential universities that I wanted to go to. Now, at 16, I've decided more exactly what area of the aforementioned continent I want to live on.

However, none of this worries me. Imagining, thinking, dreaming - they're all parts of me that I don't wish to banish any time soon. (Though sometimes those qualities are unfortunate - say, when you're a pensive pre-teen who continuously thinks about what happens after death and scares himself into almost-sleepless nights.) However, I do wonder if I take it too far when - being only 16 - I think of what I want to do when I'm old and grey and have retired. I've been thinking about where I'll live, what I'll do to pass the time, whether I'll have the fortune of being able, actually, to continue my job (as I doubt it will be labour intensive).

I've just about managed to stop myself from thinking too thoroughly about what happens after we die, and now I'm on old age? I do have issues. All the same, these attributes are me and I quite like my mental time-travelling journeys. I think it has much to do with my age - the typical Bildungsroman age, finding yourself, etc. - but I can't wait till the future. What will it be like? Can I live up to my imagination? I hope so. I'm not too quixotic.

That's my return to blogging, though. Now to go and do some outstanding things that affect my present, like: watch 90210 and then finish The Diary of Anne Frank so I can get started on Will Grayson, Will Grayson by David Levithan & my favourite author.